So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
