I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
