We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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