its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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