I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
