He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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