brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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