apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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