So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
