Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
