Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Blood and glitter go together right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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