Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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