it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
