Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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