I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
