whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
