haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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