I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
