I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
