He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
