areolas are like halos for boobs.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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