That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
did you just send me my own nude
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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