where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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