My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
