Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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