Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
