Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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