Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
