what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
