Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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