It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
