i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
