:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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