it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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