I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
