Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
well you can't waste a boner
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
