Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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