Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
