Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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