They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
