i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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