just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
