I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
