Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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