i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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