Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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