there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
