My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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