So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
