i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
