Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
